“Baby John,” released on December 25, 2024, directed by Kalees and produced by Atlee’s A For Apple Productions alongside Jio Studios and Cine1 Studios, arrived as a Hindi remake of the 2016 Tamil hit “Theri.” Starring Varun Dhawan, Keerthy Suresh, Wamiqa Gabbi, Jackie Shroff, and a cameo-heavy ensemble, this action thriller aimed to cap Bollywood’s year with a bang. Unfortunately, “Baby John” is a bloated, uninspired slog that squanders its cast and premise with derivative excess.

The plot follows Satya Verma, aka Baby John (Dhawan), a former DCP who fakes his death and relocates to Kerala with his daughter Khushi (Zara Zyanna) to escape his past. Living as a bakery owner, his peace shatters when a flesh-trading gang led by the cartoonishly evil Babbar Sher (Shroff) threatens Khushi, forcing Satya back into action-hero mode. A backstory reveals his cop days, a lost love (Suresh), and a murdered family—standard masala fare that’s meant to fuel vengeance but feels reheated and rote. A Salman Khan cameo as “Agent Bhai Jaan” caps it off, hinting at a shared universe no one asked for.

Varun Dhawan tries to shoulder the film, flexing a beefed-up physique and earnest intensity, but he’s miscast. His boyish charm, suited for light comedies, clashes with the gritty cop role—cameras can’t hide that he lacks the gravitas of Tamil star Vijay, who owned “Theri.” Keerthy Suresh’s Bollywood debut as Nithya is forgettable, her romance with Satya rushed and devoid of spark. Wamiqa Gabbi’s cop character adds fleeting energy but is sidelined, while Jackie Shroff’s over-the-top villainy—complete with cigars and a Betaal-esque getup—veers into parody. The child actor Zyanna is cute but can’t carry the emotional weight the script demands.

Kalees, an Atlee protégé, chucks every South Indian action trope into the mix—slow-mo swagger, ear-splitting Thaman S. BGM, and fight scenes galore (guns, swords, fists)—but it’s all noise, no soul. At 166 minutes, the pacing is a slog; the first half drowns in backstory fluff, and the second is a relentless barrage of violence that numbs rather than excites. Kiran Koushik’s cinematography is slick, but the choppy editing by Ruben makes it a disjointed mess. The songs, also by Thaman, feel like dubbed South imports—out of place and skippable.

The biggest sin? It’s a lazy lift of “Theri” with no reinvention. Where the original had emotional heft and Vijay’s organic charisma, “Baby John” slaps on Bollywood gloss—Salman’s cringe cameo, a loud score—and calls it a day. Its Christmas release couldn’t save it from “Pushpa 2″’s shadow.

“Baby John” is a textbook case of Bollywood’s 2024 malaise—overproduced, undercooked, and banking on star power over substance. It’s not offensively bad, just exhaustingly pointless—a stale retread that proves remakes need more than a new coat of paint to work.

Rating: 2/5

A loud, lifeless dud—skip it unless you’re a Dhawan diehard with time to burn.