Pathaan (2023), the Shah Rukh Khan-starrer that stormed Bollywood with all the subtlety of a rocket launcher in a library. Directed by Siddharth Anand, this spy thriller promised a grand return for SRK after a four-year hiatus, and it delivered—sort of. As a critic, I’m torn between applauding its audacity and shaking my head at its excesses.

Pathaan is a cinematic beast that roars with ambition but occasionally stumbles over its own feet. It’s the latest chapter in Yash Raj Films’ Spy Universe, pitting Shah Rukh Khan’s titular rogue agent against John Abraham’s snarling villain, Jim, with Deepika Padukone’s Rubina caught in the crossfire. The plot kicks off with Pakistan’s fury over India revoking Article 370, leading to a convoluted revenge scheme involving a bio-weapon and a terrorist-for-hire. It’s a premise that’s equal parts topical and absurd, setting the stage for a globe-trotting action fest that’s more about swagger than substance.

Let’s start with the good. Shah Rukh Khan, at 57, is a force of nature here. He’s lean, mean, and dripping with charisma, sporting a mane of hair that deserves its own credit in the titles. His entry—bloodied, battered, and staring down the camera—ignites the screen, and every slow-motion strut is engineered to make audiences cheer. He’s not just playing Pathaan; he’s reclaiming his throne as Bollywood’s Badshah, and you can feel the pent-up energy of his comeback in every punch he throws. John Abraham, as Jim, is a worthy foil—hulking, menacing, and surprisingly nuanced for a character who could’ve been a cartoonish baddie. Their face-offs, especially a mid-air helicopter brawl, are the film’s adrenaline-soaked highlights.

The action is where Pathaan flexes its muscles hardest. Anand, no stranger to spectacle after War (2019), throws everything at the wall—car chases on icy lakes, train-top showdowns, and a climax that defies gravity so blatantly it’s almost avant-garde. The scale is jaw-dropping, and the sheer excess can be intoxicating if you’re in the mood for it. Deepika Padukone, meanwhile, slinks through the chaos with a cool confidence, her chemistry with SRK sizzling enough to make you forget the plot holes. A cameo from Salman Khan (no spoilers on who he plays) is the cherry on top, a fan-service moment so shamelessly crowd-pleasing it’s impossible not to grin.

But here’s where the cracks show. For all its bombast, Pathaan is a narrative mess. The screenplay, credited to Shridhar Raghavan, feels like it was stitched together from a dozen action movie tropes—think Mission: Impossible meets James Bond, but with Bollywood’s signature melodrama dialed to eleven. The story lurches from one set piece to the next, barely pausing to breathe, let alone explain itself. Why does Jim’s backstory feel like an afterthought? How does Pathaan infiltrate top-secret bases with the ease of a tourist strolling into a gift shop? And don’t get me started on the bio-weapon subplot—it’s so thinly sketched you’d think it was added in post-production to pad the runtime.

Speaking of runtime, at 146 minutes, Pathaan overstays its welcome. The pacing sags in the middle, bogged down by redundant flashbacks and patriotic chest-thumping that feels more performative than poignant. The dialogues, penned by Abbas Tyrewala, swing between clever one-liners and cringe-inducing clunkers—Pathaan referring to himself in the third person gets old fast. And while the visuals are glossy, the VFX wobble at times, with some CGI looking like it was rushed out of a budget workstation. A truck-top fight early on is more laughable than thrilling, a victim of shoddy execution.

What saves Pathaan from collapsing under its own weight is its unapologetic commitment to being a popcorn flick. It knows its audience—SRK fans, Bollywood diehards, and anyone who’d rather hoot at explosions than nitpick physics—and caters to them with laser focus. The songs, like “Besharam Rang,” stirred controversy pre-release but land as standard YRF eye-candy: sexy, shallow, and forgettable once the credits roll. The film’s real soundtrack is the roar of the crowd, and on that front, it’s a knockout.

So, is Pathaan a triumph or a trainwreck? It’s both. It’s a love letter to Shah Rukh Khan’s stardom, a middle finger to Bollywood’s doubters, and a chaotic stew of ideas that don’t always gel. As a critic, I’d give it a grudging 3 out of 5 stars—admiring its bravado while wincing at its flaws. It’s not art, but it’s entertainment with a capital E, and in a year when Hindi cinema needed a jolt, Pathaan delivered the shock. Just don’t ask it to make sense.